Discussions By Condition: I cannot get a diagnosis.

Derealization sucks, but so does life.

Posted In: I cannot get a diagnosis. 0 Replies
  • Posted By: Iboredom
  • August 29, 2009
  • 01:45 AM

im 17 years old and have always had anxiety, it was set off by my parents always arguing, getting into fights, and screaming at eachother, i would sit in my room and have panic attacks untill i fell asleep, then there was a bad fight and my moms boyfriend actually faked dying infront of me, dropped to the floor.. the anxiety wasan't bad at all untill i got into weed, I had a terrible panic attack on it and went to the hospital, and weeks after i went through terrible, i mean terrible things! and still do, derealization,depersonalization,panic attacks,ocd,the list goes on. i couldn't even walk! when i walked i felt as tho things were moving with me and when i looked at the sidewalk or celings they would shimmer and wave, i felt i was going crazy!? different symptoms occured everyday, some i liked, such as dream state, others i hated, not being able to communicate, zoning out 247, and having random dejavu moments where i thought i had already done this before. I will now end this paragraph with every symtom that occured 1 after another.. derealization, i would walk around hallways, see clouds in the air, everything felt hazy. depersonalization, i was always outside of my body, this was cool, lol. but not these next symptoms.. "robot", it randomly set off when i walked into my living room, everything moved in slow motion, went away after 3 days. ocd, i obsessed over graphic pictures in my head, they would constantly appear and would set off panic attacks. everyone thought i was stoned, no one listened to my real feelings.. and now, i have social anxiety, i think people are looking at me judgeing me, talking about me, i walk funny because i think people are watching the way i walk. anything will freak me out. the list goes on? but i dont remember much, because each day the same symptoms happen and it feels new, its funny because their not new at all. i also think i have illnesses and dying from them, life sucks, and nothing can change it, if god were really there i think he would help all of us out. anyways if u actually read all of that i thank you, and wonder if there are others out there, livingin223@hotmail.com is my msn if ud like to chat.

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