this may sound stupid, but is it possible to have chronic fatigue w/out feeling especially physically fatigued?
i am 23, and my 'brain fog' etc. started after i was put on a drug called Remeron which made my anxiety so bad that i almost committed myself to hopsital before pulling myself off it could turkey - after which i have never really felt the same. i had dealt with anxiety before that, which was always bad, but it never interfered with my intellectual and emotional function to this point. i used to have highs and lows but most of the time now i just feel completely flat and emotionless.
my concentration problems just seem to be getting worse to the point where i find reading difficult; i can't remember anything i read either .. it's like i have full-blown ADD. but what's strange is that i don't really feel intensely depressed in other ways - i am constantly pushing to find part-time work to help my situation, i have no desire to stay in bed, i get no thoughts of self-loathing. most of my depression stems from not being able to function the way i used to. socially, i am about as entertaining as driftwood - it's like my mind's just functioning too slowly to hold up a real conversation, which has led to social avoidance, rather than there being an initial desire to avoid people. i intensely crave human connection, but just am not up to it at all right now.
i find that anything which requires physical exertion - like swimming or running - difficult because i have lost a lot of muscle strength, and i can spend a couple days recovering after a bout of exercise, but i don't have much difficulty with leisurely walking for an hour, which i do everyday. my hands and feet are constantly cold, even when the rest of my body isn't. another strange thing is that i don't respond to 'stimulants' like coffee or alcohol at all - they just make me more tired.
i have been following the regime in the B12 deficiency thread (i had a lowish serum level) and see the start-up symptoms from the regime - mood swings, worsening of pain which has now gotten a lot better - as a good sign, but i am also really impatient, and losing hope. the ADb12 helped the physical feeling of 'brain fog', i.e. the head stuffiness, but it does nothing for my ADD symptoms.
i know i should get a real diagnosis, and might seen an integrative MD once i can afford it, since supplementing etc. costs a lot. i am seeing a psych next week, and am going to push to try an MAOI (maybe Parnate) because no other meds have really helped my situation. i almost happy to just go on a med and try and get on with my life, since this has been going on for over a year now, but i wonder if i'm going down the wrong path, and am worried i might be misdiagnosed as bipolar when the mood swings could just be a normal recovery symptom. my parents have been so caring and understanding, but it's hard for them to see their son, who was a straight-A college student and successful freelance writer for a year before all this began. i am in therapy, which has helped me simply cope with the situation im in, but done nothing to relieve the concentration and brain fog issues, which makes me believe something else is at hand.
because i have a history of anxiety and neurotocism, NO GP will run a blood count when i request it. they just push anti-depressants in my face. i have not had a single blood test done since all this began, other than one which measured my B12, folate, iron and a couple other things (no hormones, etc.). i dont mean to sound dramatic, but i am running out of hope, and just do not see much of a future for myself, despite all my pushing and pushing.