Discussions By Condition: I cannot get a diagnosis.

Confused, Frustrated, Extreamly EMBARRASED, and its getting worse

Posted In: I cannot get a diagnosis. 15 Replies
  • Posted By: luke1234
  • August 7, 2008
  • 09:52 AM

Ok, first off let me say that this may seem a bit out of order. I'm going to try to do my best to describe what's going on, but a lot of people have a tendency of misunderstanding what I'm trying to say.

Most of my life i have been called lethargic, stupid, lazy, unpredictable, ect., which i am anything but that. I have put myself through private college, have a degree in business management, and while doing so created works that amazed my professors a few of which were so impressed that they wanted to go into business with me. I also work 50+ hours a week now that I have graduated. If that's lazy or stupid then ok I am.
The problem is I understand why people think this way of me. I catch myself as I make the mistakes that i will go in further detail below, but usually its too late to correct the error made to avoid these reactions. Maybe this makes sense to you and maybe it doesn't. I will do my best to explain what I'm trying to convey to you as best as i can. Most of these problems i have had as long as i can remember, but some are seemingly getting worse.

Im sorry this is going to be long so I will highlight the symptoms here and give a more detailed explanation below.

Age: 27
Sex: M
Height: 5'6
Weight: 180lbs (Down from 225 by my own means)

*= Getting worse

- Fatigue
- Dizziness *
- Confusion *
- Mind Blanks *
- Nervous Pacing *
- Hard time concentrating on small tasks, but cant stop concentrating on projects
-jumbled speech does not come out the way i intended *
-Bad Short term memory even on easy tasks *
-Need to re-read material 3-4 times in order to properly comprehend it
-Overly emotional

-eye sight decreasing over the last 3 years *
-Hearing decreasing over the last 3 years *
-Low Blood pressure
-Infrequent muscle twitching
-frequent urination

Was diagnosed with depression and ADD 1 yr ago
Prozac: No effect has been seen
Addarall: Effect - Fatigue has been dramatically reduced, motivation and ability to focus on tasks has increased

Post med symptom
Tingling frequently in my hands and forearms
Slight stress causes hyperventilation

Fatigue - First of all, I am always tired. I can sleep for 15 hours and still feel the need to rest, or have a lack of motivation to get up unless i have something i need to do, and even when i do have something to do i will wait till the last min to get up and get started.
Now to most people this would be considered lazy but they didn't take into consideration that I do set my alarm so i can try to force myself out of bed at a reasonable hour but wind up literally hitting the snooze and waking up every 10 min for 2 hours. When that alarm goes off my eyes are burning, and i cant think properly, which is normal for someone who has gotten say 4-6 hours of sleep, but when I'm getting 8-12 that's a difference, but that is how i feel. I DO want to get up and be productive, and get frustrated when i cant get what i wanted to get done before i have to do what i set my alarm for.

Dizziness - I can be walking just fine and when i take a turn say like around a desk, i will cut the corner to short and bump into it knocking stuff off, or fumble with grabbing hold of things like a stapler or credit card. I also have problems making logical decisions on how and where i should move in certain situations such as helping someone pack a car or load lumber. I tend to always go in the way. Which ties in with:

Confusion: kind of self explanatory i get confused easy, if i understand something once fully, i will remember it for quite awhile, but the process of figuring out what someone is asking of me, gets jumbled in my head and frequently does not get done right. When i get to confused a lot in a short period of time, i get frustrated and it just gets worse until the stress causes what i call:

Mind Blanks - these are extremely embarrassing. an example of a mind blank would be, right now I am working as a manager trainee for a company. New stuff is being thrown at me left and right. I am learning the ins and outs of 10 different jobs within a month period, what they each do in depth not just a basic overview, I have to memorize exactly what our policy states for each procedure ect. Well my boss took came up to me and had me do a new task. This task pertained some simple addition and subtraction, I'm talking EASY. As she watched me go thru the steps of the new project i got nervous and it hit me. I seriously could not subtract 32 from 53 in my head, i went over to the calculator and tried to use that, but i couldn't figure that out, numbers kept on coming up wrong. Now i am good at math, I can do intermediate algebra in my head. Its just like all of a sudden I have no clue whets going on. It will remain like this until i realize mentally that it is happening and half to calm myself down, but by this time my boss will be grabbing the paperwork and say something in the line of, ill finish this off. This also happens when someone, usually of a mentor, trainer, boss, teacher, asks me a question verbally. No matter if I know the answer or not I will freeze up and mind blank.

Then when something still needs to be done i start pacing trying to figure out what to do for example: walking real fast sometimes stopping mid step and turing around between the calculator and the project i am working on, this can happen 3-4 times before i settle down relax and realize that i just messed up. This causes extream embarrassment. Especially when your boss says, do you seriously need a calculator for that.

I have a problem concentrating on small tasks
If i start a project, i cant stop myself until its finished in my eyes, or an outside force interferes. This is why i refuse to buy a video game system, i will go 2-3 days with out sleep just to finish.

When I talk to people i have been told i speak real quick, usually ending my comments in either a slurr, stutter, or a mispronunciation of a word such as adding an D at the end where it shouldn't be. This tends to happen more when I'm talking to people i have only met a couple times all the way to to semi-frequent acquaintances. when i try to tell a story its hard even for my closest friends to understand when i try to tell a detailed story, i jump around a lot and forget parts. By the end they lose interest and have no idea what I was trying to say.

My short term memory sucks, someone can ask me to go to the store for 3 items and 4 out of 10 times ill forget what one was. Ill remember there were 3 just not what the last one was.

Long term memory is amazing

When reading material that I am not extremely intrested in, usually i have to re-read about 30% of my sentences or paragraphs 3-4 times before i can comprehend them. Either my mind wanders and I somehow i keep reading, or the sentence structure seems awkward.

Overly emotional - I can break down into tears in minor situations where there is no reason to cry. example, if i were to ask my boss for a raise and he asked me why i feel i deserve it, while explaining i get choked up and break down even if I'm not stressed out, it usually happens when I'm trying to tell someone how i feel.

After being diagnosed with ADD not too much has changed except my ability to get going in the morning.

As for the Prozac for depression. Well 1. it didn't do anything and 2. The reason I'm depressed is because of all the symptoms happening to me in front of people.

I guess the worst part is that as I have said before, I am conscious of most of the things that I unintentionally that would put off the impression that i was stupid or lazy. Shoot if i was on the other side of the mirror looking at the real me, I too would think the same thing.

Please help me figure out what the heck is going on. The frustration is getting worse. Im embarrased to bring this list of problems to the doctor, because i dont want anyone to think I'm a hypocondriact. I also went to a counclor and they said its all just stress, Well other then these things I'm explaining I am really not stressed out, embarrased is more the word.

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15 Replies:

  • I'm wondering if you may not have add at all, and if perhaps all your symptoms could be caused by sleep apnea. As far as I understand this would mean that over the course of the night you stop breathing, then partially wake constantly during the night, so you aren't actually getting 15 hours of sleep, and therefore function during the day as if you are add and generally have a hard time functioning and completing tasks, because lets all face it, i couldn't fall asleep last night and i'm struggling to get my thoughts onto this dang page, how well would we focus if we slept like idk one, two, three, even four hours a night, every night. And, the depression could even be explained, i mean, how many times have we seen "fussy" kids who miss there nap time. I mean, how happy can you be if you never get enough sleep. Obviously don't just stop taking your meds or anything, i'm not a doctor, but maybe you should try having a sleep study. Oh, and if adderall keeps you up at night, you could try melatonin, its like the chemical that tells your brain to sleep, or something like that. I don't yet have an explanation for low blood pressure, i'll see if i can find a better explanation, that was just the first thing that popped into my head.
    qwertyuiop123 453 Replies Flag this Response
  • My second guess is hypothyroidism. http://www.endocrineweb.com/hypo1.html
    qwertyuiop123 453 Replies Flag this Response
  • you shouldn't worry about being called a hypochondriac, if one doctor is a ***k, pick another, eventually one will listen to you, and figure out what is wrong.
    qwertyuiop123 453 Replies Flag this Response
  • Thank you for responding, Actually when i was young, around 4-5th grade, I was quite a heavy kid, with most of these problems. My step mother thought i could have a thyroid problem, and i went in for the test. It came up negative. Now that was a long time ago but most of these symptoms still existed. As far as sleep apnia(SP), that may be something to look into.
    Anonymous 42789 Replies Flag this Response
  • As far as I've hearf thyroid tests now can be pretty unreliable, i can't imagine they were any better then. It might be worth having blood work redone.
    qwertyuiop123 453 Replies Flag this Response
  • Have you ever had your sugar checked?
    Anonymous 42789 Replies Flag this Response
  • Much of this sounds like me in a nutshell! I started seeing a psychiatrist a year or two ago, with complaints of depression, short term attention span/short memory span, low focus on small tasks, too high focus on big tasks, general anxiety. At first, I was diagnosed with dysthymic disorder (a type of depression) and put on Zoloft. It was moderately helpful, but my doctor really wanted to diagnose me with ADHD even though it didn't make sense; I had no symptoms as a child. Anyways! Later on, my diagnosis was changed to bipolar disorder and my medicine changed to Lamictal. My attention and memory became so much better and I chilled out and all that. The only thing remaining right now is the inability to get out of bed even after 10-12 hrs of sleep. My lamictal is a low dose though and may need to increase. I hope this perspective was at least a little bit helpful! edit: I didn't address some of your symptoms, but here is a bit more: - Fatigue (yes)- Dizziness (upon standing and walking)- Confusion (YES)- Mind Blanks (sometimes)- Nervous Pacing (before meds)- Hard time concentrating on small tasks, but cant stop concentrating on projects (getting better)-jumbled speech does not come out the way i intended (getting better)-Bad Short term memory even on easy tasks (getting better)-Need to re-read material 3-4 times in order to properly comprehend it (sometimes)-Overly emotional (yes) All of these symptoms, for me, improve on Lamictal. I am just getting back on it after a period where I could not get a prescription (don't ask). My dose is not at the maintenence dose yet so I'm not all improved yet. I also have low blood pressure not addressed by my doctor.
    serissime 4 Replies Flag this Response
  • serisseme: I would suggest you keep following up with this forum, as I suspect you probably have whatever lukas1234 has, I thought at first when i was reading through your forum the probability of you guys having the same thing was slim, until i read the low blood pressure, now I'm not so sure. Have you had hypothyroidism ruled out?
    qwertyuiop123 453 Replies Flag this Response
  • Well, what does "low blood pressure" entail? I don't think it's SUPER low, but it is low in the normal range. I have not had hypothyroidism ruled out.
    serissime 4 Replies Flag this Response
  • i've not a clue what is wrong with you but i too think you could have more than what you've previously been diagnosed with (or one of the diagnoses may be wrong). If I start a project I cant stop myself till it's finished in my eyes As far as Im aware, usually in ADD.. they have trouble finishing projects.. they dont have trouble not stopping doing whatever they are doing. Many of your symptoms seem to be related to anxiety issues.. anxiety will make one more confused whenever one gets under any stress... and hyperventalization under slight stress is an anxiety thing. Pacing could be an anxiety thing. Neither of the drugs you are on is an anti anxiety drug i dont think? (looked them up online and they dont seem to be). Maybe you need a drug for treatment for the anxiety.............. i also think you need to go and have a sleep study done! and with frequent urination.. a diabetes test may be a good idea.
    taniaaust1 2267 Replies Flag this Response
  • I have a best bestest friend that is bipolar. Yes you sound a lot like her until she got the proper meds. I then you sound like me until I started the proper thyroid. The first dosages were too low. The tests only show free hormones not utilization. Since I have metabolic disorder in other area but have also have thyroid problem, had to keep adding more thyroid, but tests never changed. But ultimately I was able to get out of bed. Now friend is trying to have her thyroid increased.
    Abbydoodle 138 Replies
    • August 10, 2008
    • 01:53 AM
    • 0
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  • Yup this reads like classic bipolar to me, I care for my husband who has this condition so although I don't personally suffer from it, I am well aware of the symptoms.The mania symptoms you talk aboutconfusionnervous pacingembarressment of symptomspacingconcentration and memoryare VERY symptomatic, and coupled with your depression (already diagnosed), you may very well be having mixed episodes (IE you swing really fast from one pole to the other)Are you also irritable (self reflective) - this is also a symptom?People who are highly driven (and you seem to be) often have this condition, Stephen Fry for example. It gives an edge to their abilities to preform above the ordinary (and therefore many won't take meds) but at least they are aware of what they have. I also know a man who ran a business for 20 years, but due to the serious risks he took (which made him very wealthy) he ran that self same business to ground twice before his son took over the business. He works sometimes for 3 days at a time but now his son pays him.I hope you find someone who can diagnose your problem, but like I said, it looks like classic bipolar. This is a tough condition to live with (even from the outside), so I encourage you to take heart and try getting the right diagnosis so you can move on with your life.Q.
    Anonymous 42789 Replies
    • August 10, 2008
    • 04:28 AM
    • 0
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  • (@abbydoodle: not to hijack the thread, but I'll get hypothyroidism checked out soon, thanks!)
    serissime 4 Replies
    • August 10, 2008
    • 05:08 AM
    • 0
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  • actually i think the having to finish projects could be considered somewhat compulsive behavior, which could be explained by your add. What were you guys' blood pressures when they were low or low normal?
    qwertyuiop123 453 Replies
    • August 10, 2008
    • 08:25 AM
    • 0
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  • to add to the big bipolar post, antidepressants can make your moods cycle far more quickly than they normally would be! Therefore your moods might be more difficult to differentiate and so, diagnose.
    serissime 4 Replies
    • August 10, 2008
    • 04:34 PM
    • 0
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