Discussions By Condition: I cannot get a diagnosis.

can any one help me

Posted In: I cannot get a diagnosis. 3 Replies
  • Posted By: Alicia
  • December 5, 2006
  • 09:59 AM

hi my names Alicia, i dont know what kind of disorder i have i would like it if somebody could help.

symptoms : i feel that i am over weight when i am actually under weight
: i am depressed most of the time

:my boyfreind looks at other women an he thinks most of them are good looking and i want to look perfect for him but he will not let me have surgery to correct my self, as i feel i have a horrible body and face.

if you think you know what it is that is wrong with me then please tell me what you think it is.

my e-mail address is al1c1an@msn.com

Thank You!

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3 Replies:

  • Get a new boy friend. You should want to "Fix" yourself for anyone else. The only thing you should do is get rid of the person who is making you feel bad. The sooner you realize that he is not your world the better off you will be. Find someone that will make you feel alive.
    Anonymous 42,789 Replies
    • December 5, 2006
    • 03:57 PM
    • 0
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  • Alicia, you have to realize it is perfectly natural for men and women to be attracted physically to people even though they're in a relationship. If he makes comments and you don't like it, try making comments like them when you see cute guys. He'll probably get the idea quickly that way. :DIts very important to eat the right foods and get enough nutrition. Not by choice I had many years of my body being under-fed. Even though I was overweight, my body wasn't getting what it needed because of digestive disease and let me tell you, nothing is WORSE for your looks than not eating enough/getting the proper nutrition. Over time it will damage your hair, skin, nails, teeth, joints, and yes even your muscles and organs.And I think any real MAN realizes a healthy woman is better than the skeletal near-death image of beauty that is for sale on the TV 24/7. They have so many image specialists following them around and so many after taping visual edits that its just not real.Either way, realize that although he sees a lot of attractive women, you're the one he's with. This means as good as they are, you've got to be somehow better to him.And also, if your biggest problem is worrying about your looks, just try to replace that negative thought with a positive one, like being thankful you've got your health and a boyfriend. We can all influence our happiness, and some university research recently showed it can be as simple as thinking about three things you helped make happen that you are glad happened. It could be your house your car your boyfriend your job your classes, ***l even your lunch. So.. do things you enjoy, and think about them afterward too. Take a new class, or pick up a hobby: arts, crafts, dance, yoga, poetry, music, self-defense - whatever! Find something you've always wanted to do and just do it. You don't have to "win" at it or be the best, you can just try to have fun and fulfill a goal.
    Azaral 152 Replies
    • December 5, 2006
    • 04:48 PM
    • 0
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  • Alicia, it sounds like you may have the beginnings of an eating disorder, if not a full blown eating disorder. You need to go to a psychologist or other type of therapist, and get some help working through your body image issues. If your boyfriend is not supportive of you or if he is verbally abusive by telling you that you aren't pretty enough or good enough, you should break up with him. You need supportive people around you, especially as you are going through therapy for your body image issues. However, your boyfriend is not wrong to tell you that you shouldn't have surgery -- in fact, that makes me think he is more supportive of you, and loves you the way you are. Surgery will not fix you. Even if you change your outsides, your will still feel depressed and worthless on the inside. You need to change how you think about your body. You don't need to change your actual body. A professional therapist or psychologist will be able to help you work through these issues.As far as your boyfriend looking at other women, all men do that, even ones who are happily married. My husband tells me I'm pretty, and I know he finds me attractive, but he still notices other women, especially when he's out with the guys. After his friends meet me, they'll ask him why he would look at other women when he has me. The answer is that it doesn't bother me that he looks. I know he loves me and finds me attractive and would never cheat on me, and I like the way I look, so I don't compare myself to those other women. It's all about liking yourself the way you are, and having faith in your relationship.Good luck getting through this, and again, I really think the best thing you could do for yourself would be to find a good therapist to help you work through it. Take all the money you would have spent on surgery and spend it on someone who will help you learn to like yourself instead.~Ryot
    Anonymous 42,789 Replies
    • December 6, 2006
    • 00:28 AM
    • 0
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