Hi, i realise this is a long post, but i am asking just please even scan through quickly and if you can help even in the slightest you dont know how much difference it can make. i have just sat down and wrote out exactly how i feel bcoz with the memory an brain fog trouble wenever i go to the docs i have lots to say and come out telling them hardly anything. so i am taking this with me so i remember because it has been going on for years and years and i really want to get the the bottom of it its ruined the last 6 years or so. i dont take drugs, altho used to smoke weed alot but havent done for about 3 years.
sometimes i will sit down and think, why am i not worrying now am sure there is somethin i am worried about, and remember something and be worried about it. theres always something
always wake up tired, can sleep for 8 hours a night, wake up tired. slept for 15 hours last sat, waking up for a 2 minute cigarette in between, and still woke up like i needed to go to sleep.
feeling groggy like i just woke up all day
very heavy sleeper, need to be shaken or water thrown on, dead to the world.
like im in a dream
detached from reality. like im on autopilot. go for weeks doing somethin, say a new job, an dont even know ive done it yet ive performed a task i wouldve had to think about. its like im physically awake, but mentally asleep.
cant concentrate on anythin for more than a few minutes. mind wanders off into 'blank'. last wkend set off to my mums house at night, drove to asda whilst it were shut, all lights off an car park empty, parked up got out of my car and thought **** i was meant to be goin my mums wot am a doin ere. doin things twice straight after another because i forgot i just done it alredy until i try agen.
always convinced people are plannin an plottin stuff agenst me. lose sumthin an go on a mad rage thinkin sum1 has nicked or hidden it, then find it in my pocket, or remember leavin it in a safe place.
snappin at the smallest things. things like wen a coubard door gets jammed an wont open, i just completely blackout and want to smash anythin an anyone in sight. always take it out on my girlfriend an blame her evn tho its not her fault. not in control of it, will be smashin stuff but at the same time knowin in about 2 minutes time ill regret it.
find it hard to smile or anything, like my face just wants to stay the same way all the time. just a normal staring look. i do find sum things funny, and wen watchin sum1 who makes me laff, mite be laughing alot inside an find it really funny, but cant laugh and just do a fake smile insted.
i get tinglin feelins down my arms, mostly left arm right down the inside. as if its runnin all the way down a vein or string in my arm. chest pains where i sumtimes cant get up an have to lie down sumtimes for 10 minutes until it goes. i used to get ALOT of pains in my lower abdomen. like real hard sharp pains that would make me wince but only for about 1 miute each. do still get them but not as much and no idea why.
i used to be normal, until about 15. it made me leave school early. didnt have a job for 2 years. didnt go out the house. went to doctors eventually an he put me on prozac. i think that just made me even more detatched from reality. i didnt give 2 monkeys about wot was goin on in my hed either on that stuff. i stopped takin it after bout a month. he still says im depressed now but fink its somethin different. am goin to get myself a new doc but tryin to find out as much as i can myself too because ive learnt that doctors get rid of u as cheaply as possible to save money, an apparantly they get a bonus for doing so.
he sent me to a mental health unit for a few months, because i was hearing voices tellin me lottery numbers etc stupid things like that, but they discharged me after a few month and said i were ok.
please help, no one seems to know.
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