Discussions By Condition: I cannot get a diagnosis.

borderline personality disorder!

Posted In: I cannot get a diagnosis. 16 Replies
  • Posted By: Anonymous
  • February 3, 2008
  • 10:13 PM

just curious if anyone suffers with borderline personality disorder and what was the best treatment for you? Upon having other problems, my psychiatrist brought this to my attention and I have to say it fits me pretty well. I'm scared at the sametime because, I feel like I have been fighting this issue for a longtime and have been thru a lot of treatments and still feel like a failure. I have a family and it is taring them apart to, which I hate because I love them so much. I don't physically harm them but I just become very agitated easily and kinda hide in a corner.:( Anyway, suggestions r definitely welcome. Thanks!

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  • I found your situation interesting and also have a question/ suggestion. Are you aware of your personality lapses as they occure? If so, try to creat new habits for your self. Yes this will take total family cooperation. At least be willing to sit down with them to discuss each personality episode and draw out a plan of action. You need to be more proactive while your family more responsive. For instance, instead of hibernating, you might try reaching out to your son or brother to play a game of catch or video gaming (whatever positive to distract you enough). If you are unware (sometime, all the time), it is still important to attempt to connect with your family. Try devising a way to get yourself informed during your blackout that it is family time. Again, your family can take care of you and guide you to what is important. How your family helps you is apart of your plan in which you create with them in your normal personality (Document the plan). In your post it is obvious that you love your family a lot; this love needs to be returned 2 fold in a sincere, cooperative way. I hope this helps or let me know if you do not prefer it.
    Anonymous 42789 Replies
    • February 11, 2008
    • 03:30 AM
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  • I found your situation interesting and also have a question/ suggestion. Are you aware of your personality lapses as they occure? If so, try to creat new habits for your self. Yes this will take total family cooperation. At least be willing to sit down with them to discuss each personality episode and draw out a plan of action. You need to be more proactive while your family more responsive. For instance, instead of hibernating, you might try reaching out to your son or brother to play a game of catch or video gaming (whatever positive to distract you enough). If you are unware (sometime, all the time), it is still important to attempt to connect with your family. Try devising a way to get yourself informed during your blackout that it is family time. Again, your family can take care of you and guide you to what is important. How your family helps you is apart of your plan in which you create with them in your normal personality (Document the plan). In your post it is obvious that you love your family a lot; this love needs to be returned 2 fold in a sincere, cooperative way. I hope this helps or let me know if you do not prefer it.First of all, I want to thankyou for your response. To answer your question, sometimes I notice when my personality lapses occure. In the moment though, I most of the time I don't even think about it or recognize it unless someone points it out. I have been working on new ways to change my habits by first starting a diary of how my day goes and then when something negative or say and anxiety attack comes on I try to work on my breathing techniques. Sometimes it is hard not to hibernate just because I have a lot of physical pain aswell but I have been working on this. My family is very loving, my wife has a hard time understanding, which I can understand but it makes it difficult. I was wondering about documenting the plan, what that meant? U definitely gave me some good advice and I don't know if u suffer with this but I appreaciate that u care to share your suggestions and look foward to any more u would have or anyone for that matter. Best regards!
    Anonymous 42789 Replies
    • February 12, 2008
    • 03:12 AM
    • 0
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  • sometimes i feel totally confident and self assured. other times i can't figure out who i am or who i want to be in a certain situation. i stay home most days and when i go out it is a big ordeal of planning and organizing and cancelling and rescheudling. i feel better when i get out though. i like to exercise and that really helps me. i feel strong and secure when i am exercising in my group class. find an outlet for your stress. sometimes i work out 2X a day. my kids are my safe place--they do not judge or accuse or belittle--they just love me. i feel so blessed to have them and so sure of my place as their mother. that is the only title that i truly embrace. good luck to you.
    Anonymous 42789 Replies
    • February 12, 2008
    • 05:31 AM
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  • Thankyou for your response to both of you! I can understand the physical exercise making u feel better because it is supposed to release that adrenaline. I used to love to work out but now that I suffer physical elements too, I am to weak most of the time. I know that is the time to do more exercise but I can't quite figure how to get that motivation. Family has been important to me aswell, they are my true safe place. I do believe in the Lord aswell and he should be the first but sometimes being in the physical nature, I tend to sway. Thanks again to both your responses.
    Anonymous 42789 Replies
    • February 13, 2008
    • 09:10 PM
    • 0
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  • boca, you're a really excellent guy. I don't know you personally but I think you can get better. These are the life challenges that everyone has except for you it's just harder. You know the way you're coping with things is not good for you or your family (and I agree). You need to seriously create new habits for yourself. What I meant by documenting a plan was to simply write out a plan for yourself for when things get tough. For instance, the corner you go into at times might have a sign in it to do whatever needs to be done with a family member or friend - its sort of a snap-out-of-it way to move on with your life. Then again something more routine might be better, like joining a gym class doing whatever you like to do (you said that you were weak physically so I'm guessing weight lifting). I really think you can do this on your own. Does it help talking to a psychologist? I know now you probably do not mind talking to him/her but, if it is not helping, why go. For me, if someone is committed to seeing me for a specific reason and that reason is not being fulfilled, I would rather be in a corner than to talk to them (if you know what I mean). In that case I could talk to a girlfriend and get nowhere as expected and get the same thrill (which is nothing more than to vent). Also, not getting your expectations met from the psychologist could be part of your depression -thinking that you are getting treated but you really aren't. I hope you're doing fine...
    Undeleted1 28 Replies
    • February 13, 2008
    • 11:54 PM
    • 0
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  • boca, you're a really excellent guy. I don't know you personally but I think you can get better. These are the life challenges that everyone has except for you it's just harder. You know the way you're coping with things is not good for you or your family (and I agree). You need to seriously create new habits for yourself. What I meant by documenting a plan was to simply write out a plan for yourself for when things get tough. For instance, the corner you go into at times might have a sign in it to do whatever needs to be done with a family member or friend - its sort of a snap-out-of-it way to move on with your life. Then again something more routine might be better, like joining a gym class doing whatever you like to do (you said that you were weak physically so I'm guessing weight lifting). I really think you can do this on your own. Does it help talking to a psychologist? I know now you probably do not mind talking to him/her but, if it is not helping, why go. For me, if someone is committed to seeing me for a specific reason and that reason is not being fulfilled, I would rather be in a corner than to talk to them (if you know what I mean). In that case I could talk to a girlfriend and get nowhere as expected and get the same thrill (which is nothing more than to vent). Also, not getting your expectations met from the psychologist could be part of your depression -thinking that you are getting treated but you really aren't. I hope you're doing fine...I appreaciate your support! Psychologist like u said have been nice to talk with but I can vent to my wife or someone else and save money. So saving money on the psychologist part is helping relieve the stress , which I know might sound corney to some. Just speaking with u fine ppl on here is just as rewarding! I guess it is just learning how to cope with these days. Thanks again!
    Anonymous 42789 Replies
    • February 14, 2008
    • 05:46 PM
    • 0
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  • No, you don't sound corny about saving money. In this economy, it is the ideal thing to do. In fact, I was going to make a point of this but I was not sure how you'd take it;)Really, there is nothing wrong with being a realist and conservatist.How are you doing anyway?
    Undeleted1 28 Replies
    • February 14, 2008
    • 10:21 PM
    • 0
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  • No, you don't sound corny about saving money. In this economy, it is the ideal thing to do. In fact, I was going to make a point of this but I was not sure how you'd take it;)Really, there is nothing wrong with being a realist and conservatist.How are you doing anyway?U know, I'm doing alwright considering. Today is one of those days I'm have insominia issues. So I most likely will be up the next 24 hrs. How r u doing with your issues? I will give u one of my emails to contact me:chaz62079@yahoo.com, I will then foward u my more consistant one. I have some other illnesses u might have some familiararity with but would rather discuss not on this forum.Thanks again!
    Anonymous 42789 Replies
    • February 15, 2008
    • 06:43 AM
    • 0
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  • Hi there :) Im wondering if you would mind me emailing you on that email address you gave the other. Im looking to make some Borderline personality buddies and have others to discuss this illness with. I myself know i have borderline personality as just one part of many other medical conditions I have... a medical condition I have now, seems to have retriggered it. (I also had borderline personality as a teen but seemed to grow out of it. Ive never thou been to doctor and discussed it and had it diagnosed). The mood swings are soo bad which happen when something triggers them (eg stress) that in the past few mths ive done things like ripped heaps of my hair out, glued myself together with superglue and my latest is ..bleeding myself. Im know im currently at risk of maybe accidentally (or purposely) killing myself during a mood swing. Im currently trying to get a doctor to help me but will going hopefully to a psychologist and a psychristrist soon. As I also have multiple chemical sensitivity among my other issues.. im not at all sure if im even going to be able to take meds for this. A counsellor friend of mine who works with a few borderline clients (and who also believes I have BPD).. has told me about a therapy esp for borderline personality disorder called Dialectical Behaviour Therapy http://www.priory.com/dbt.htm so i hope to get into this therapy soon. Anyway.. please let me know if you mind me emailing you or not.
    taniaaust1 2267 Replies
    • February 19, 2008
    • 01:20 AM
    • 0
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  • Hi there :) Im wondering if you would mind me emailing you on that email address you gave the other. Im looking to make some Borderline personality buddies and have others to discuss this illness with. I myself know i have borderline personality as just one part of many other medical conditions I have... a medical condition I have now, seems to have retriggered it. (I also had borderline personality as a teen but seemed to grow out of it. Ive never thou been to doctor and discussed it and had it diagnosed). The mood swings are soo bad which happen when something triggers them (eg stress) that in the past few mths ive done things like ripped heaps of my hair out, glued myself together with superglue and my latest is ..bleeding myself. Im know im currently at risk of maybe accidentally (or purposely) killing myself during a mood swing. Im currently trying to get a doctor to help me but will going hopefully to a psychologist and a psychristrist soon. As I also have multiple chemical sensitivity among my other issues.. im not at all sure if im even going to be able to take meds for this. A counsellor friend of mine who works with a few borderline clients (and who also believes I have BPD).. has told me about a therapy esp for borderline personality disorder called Dialectical Behaviour Therapy http://www.priory.com/dbt.htm so i hope to get into this therapy soon. Anyway.. please let me know if you mind me emailing you or not.Of coarse u can write to this. I think I scared the other person off by saying my email. It is nice to have support from anyone!
    Anonymous 42789 Replies
    • February 19, 2008
    • 01:26 AM
    • 0
    Flag this Response
  • U know, I'm doing alwright considering. Today is one of those days I'm have insominia issues. So I most likely will be up the next 24 hrs. How r u doing with your issues? I will give u one of my emails to contact me:chaz62079@yahoo.com, I will then foward u my more consistant one. I have some other illnesses u might have some familiararity with but would rather discuss not on this forum.Thanks again! Yes, I completely understand. Some might say this is all the anonymous you can get but, I tend to have the same feelings when it comes to sharing. It is good that you came out for help on your personality disorder, though. I truly feel I know nothing about you. It even felt as if I might have been leaping bounds just to try to suggest something in your case - just goes to show the anonymity the others believe in is at work ;)
    Undeleted1 28 Replies
    • February 19, 2008
    • 02:58 AM
    • 0
    Flag this Response
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  • Yes, I completely understand. Some might say this is all the anonymous you can get but, I tend to have the same feelings when it comes to sharing. It is good that you came out for help on your personality disorder, though. I truly feel I know nothing about you. It even felt as if I might have been leaping bounds just to try to suggest something in your case - just goes to show the anonymity the others believe in is at work ;)Yes your right! Sometimes I think it's nice not knowing the other person because then we can look at a situation in a objective manner. Thanks for your input!
    Anonymous 42789 Replies
    • February 24, 2008
    • 11:35 PM
    • 0
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  • Try to relax and stay away from stress If you are not currently taking anything, see a councelor or doctor for advice. Don't give up!Teresa
    TeresaC 41 Replies Flag this Response
  • just curious if anyone suffers with borderline personality disorder and what was the best treatment for you? Upon having other problems, my psychiatrist brought this to my attention and I have to say it fits me pretty well. I'm scared at the sametime because, I feel like I have been fighting this issue for a longtime and have been thru a lot of treatments and still feel like a failure. I have a family and it is taring them apart to, which I hate because I love them so much. I don't physically harm them but I just become very agitated easily and kinda hide in a corner.:( Anyway, suggestions r definitely welcome. Thanks! Hello, i'm afraid i dont have any miracle suggestions, but it's nice to hear you keep the faith :) comforting isn't it? I'll tell you a little about my recent episode and see if it helps you at all .... I'm 25 and female. I am in the process of being diagnosed with BPD. Everyone bar my psychiatrist, whom i met for the first time on Thursday is certain it's what i suffer from. Symptoms? All listed here on WD! I have learned that i react differently to the same situation depending on my mood. Mood is the key i think, with people who suffer from BPD. Normally, my mood is high and i have fallen into the catagory of high-functioning BPD, so basically, i am okay untill i am faced with a stressful situation. This includes unwanted thoughts which spiral me into suspicion, delusion and rage (including violence and self harm). There is still a grey area as to whether i have anything else with it. My Occupational Therapist mentioned psychosis and we are yet to look into that. Im not sure that is accurate. My OC and I presented our thoughts to my designated psychiatrist last Thursday and he fobbed the whole lot off, like he was some sort of super doctor that can accurately diagnose in seconds. Wow, i am cured! All that is wrong is that i am scared of rejection and unable to manage my emotions .... isn't that a key symptom in BPD?? Best Treatment? So far, I have been practicing methods of self control that my OC has been teaching me and i admit that its actually working! They are only little things like knowing where i can go and who i can talk to when i feel like i am "switching" When the psychiatrist started saying things, like "You are a waste" (honest, he said that!) to get a reaction from me, i actually didnt react and he said i was normal! So next time, maybe i should rip his eyes out and put them on cocktail stix, just to prove a point?? The downer on the "not-reacting" is that i took it home with me and dwelled on it. With no where and no one to vent at, I was just about to start smashing things in my flat and my mum called to see how the appointment went. Mum and me have never been close and i never had a Dad, but i had opened up to her a little bit when i started seeking help and now she understands so much better how i feel and what happens when i "switch". By the end of the phone call i was cooking dinner and singing, back to normal self. Previously, it would have been smash up the flat and stuff the dinner, i'll have the Vodka. Anyway, i am arranging for a second opinion from a psychiatrist who specialises in BPD and who is more open minded. I will never accept that i have it until it is diagnosed by a professional, despite how accurately i fit the symptoms. I am doing this because i dont believe you can diagnose someone in less than an hour without even having read up on their background. Hmph! Starter tips for you and others that i have been given:1 - Open up a bit to a close friend or relative, someone you can turn to for support. I use mine all the time now and it really does help when you feel troubled2 - Dont estimate a time span to when you will be "cured" You will only feel disappointed when another year goes by and you are still experiencing symptoms3 - Realise that you may have this all your life and accept it. You WILL learn how to live with it and cope when you feel a symptom is over-taking you and progress to a happy and fullfilled life4 - Love yourself - try and see the good in you that OTHERS see5 - Dont be so ******n yourself - be nice to yourself at least once a day. Even if it means saying to yourself "I put 10p in the charity box, that was nice of me!" ;) (really works!)
    Jezebel Iscariot 4 Replies Flag this Response
  • Hi there,I came across this thread of communications and I was so encouraged to find other people who go through similar symptoms like I do. I finally got the courage to talk to my doctor about it and she just looked at me with a "there is nothing wrong with you" kind of stare. I was so upset that I changed doctors and never discussed it again (with a doctor). I continued to suffer and I always felt it coming on. I usually tell my husband - "I'm having one of those days". My day is usually easier with just the fact that I let him know because he knew to handle me with care (smile). But on the other hand, I tried not to open my mouth too much and I let him handle the kids on those particular days. But that was before 2006, one day I found a co-worker who I felt I could confide in and she recommended some natural nutritional products and I feel that they have helped so much. I have not had a bad episode in over a year. I may still have minor ones, but I can control them better and when I feel it coming on I just take my drink for a few days and it helps so much. My friend recommended taking the Enerlife, Triplelifeline, Ardyss Plus and Memory Charge which you can find at: www.ardysslife.com/9119817 click on english, then on nutrition. I like them so much that I began to sell them and I tell everyone I know because it's horrible to know how you feel and not be able to discuss with discuss it with anyone, but yet you feel like the world knows how yucky you feel. Feel free to e-mail me if you have any questions - slop747@yahoo.com - - - - Good luck to you in your search of balance. We are all in this together! If you don't try either of these products, please try other nutritional product. I really do not care whether or not you buy the product, as much as I care that you find a solution. I know I have!Good luck to you!
    Anonymous 42789 Replies Flag this Response
  • BPD is addressed in section 15, at http://www.ezy-build.net.nz/~shaneris Be aware that, because of their upbringing, people suffering from BPD tend to see things in terms of black and white, rather than shades of grey, and often idealise, then devalue, in relationships. They also tend to have a great fear of abandonment, and sometimes go to extreme lengths to prevent it.Use the locators, in section 1, at ezy build, and the phone book, to find a therapist who uses Dialectical Behavio(u)ral Therapy, or get a good book on the subject, and give to a therapist using Cognitive Behavio(u)ral Therapy (fairly common, and probably nearby) and ask that it be incorporated into your treatment. Read "I hate you: don't leave me" Try http://www.amazon.com/ for this. ~~~ THERAPISTS: It depends to a certain extent on what your tentative diagnosis is: people with Borderline Personality Disorder, for example, need to be challenged from time to time, by therapists using DBT. A good therapist will get you to examine the appropriateness of your actions, or thought patterns, and offer the occasional suggestion.Some therapists, however, work from an "I know best" basis, and, even though they may actually do know best, their approach often isn't as conducive to progress as others, who take more of a middle position. On the other hand, there are those who try to be your friend, when what you really need is expert help. I suggest that you try at least 3 new therapists, and initially select one you feel most comfortable with, because a good degree of rapport (which takes time to build) can help a lot, with therapy. Use the locators, in section 1, at http://www.ezy-build.net.nz/~shaneris and phone book. Personally, I'd opt for a psychologist who believes in only recommending minimal necessary medication, if at all, because they don't issue prescriptions, so are considerably less likely to be involved with the rewards, and inducements offered by sales reps from "big pharma": the large drug companies, to psychiatrists (there are links to, or articles on how psychiatry has become corrupted by money from drug companies, and "how doctors are being manipulated", in section 1: worth reading! It's important to not only feel comfortable with your therapist, but also to know about their qualifications, and the type of therapy used (read section 1). Some people are in therapy for many years, and pay a small fortune in fees, so recognise that therapists may have a vested interest in keeping their patients coming back. It pays the rent, and permits them to feel that they are fulfilling a useful function in life. For this reason, I believe that, unless there is a need for a specific type of therapy, such as Dialectical Behavio(u)ral Therapy, for Borderline Personality Disorder, or EMDR therapy, for Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, or ongoing support, in the case of people with bipolar disorder, who find they function best this way, it is a good idea to start out with a psychologist who uses Cognitive Behavio(u)ral Therapy. It often can accomplish all it is capable of, in 6 months, and to fix that time limit in the first session. In that way, the therapist knows that there is only a limited window of opportuntiy to do what they can, and there is no unconscious motivation to attempt to draw things out. If, at the end of that time, you believe you could benefit from a little more therapy, then you can extend it, but I'd advise the therapist a few weeks before the final session, in case they are considering taking on a new patient, leaving you "high, and dry" committed, and without options, except to find someone else. Learn to assess, and rate your therapist, after a while: sometimes it's better to move on, and find someone who you feel can help you more, but not if you've just reached an unpleasant part of the therapy, which part of you would rather avoid.
    shaneris 46 Replies Flag this Response
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