Discussions By Condition: I cannot get a diagnosis.

Bipolar, anxiety, anger, panic, what is this!

Posted In: I cannot get a diagnosis. 0 Replies
  • Posted By: Anonymous
  • February 23, 2010
  • 04:00 AM

I have had behavioral, social, and emotional issues that have been evident as early as two years old. After my sister was born a year and a half after I, attention seemed to stray from me and I began to have temper tantrums, anger outbursts and jealousy issues. I had been diagnosed once as having ADHD, probably at the age of five or six, but other psychiatrists always assumed that the mood swings associated with my anger was bipolar disorder, but they could never diagnose it as being bipolar due to lack of symptoms to characterize this disorder., One doctor had a diagnosis of mood disorder NOS but my parents did not agree and refused to try the medications. I have always found this incredibly difficult to believe because I had never been depressed and had never experienced euphoria or extreme irritability, Nor would I have serious temper tantrums that would last for hours. At the most, mine were full of anger and feeling of mistreatment, and would only last an hour at the most. I have thought about my childhood, how I was overcome with unusual fears for a child, how I was nervous in front of people, and did not have much friends because I was overwhelm with fear of messing up a conversation and what they would think of me. I worried over numerous issues and had difficulties sleeping as young as four or five years old. I would sit up and listen to my parents talk about how they were at a loss and listen to them express their worries about my anger and temper. I began to sit there nightly and listen to them and then pray to god to make me better and would feel extreme guilt and even more anger at myself for not being better.I was a perfectionist at school and was very shy. I was very smart but I often felt behind and that it took me much longer to get things I would have anger outbursts because I felt neglected and that I was treated differently by my parents who were wonderful to me and supportive as they could have been. I felt guilty and angry at myself that I couldn't control how angry I would get. At a hospital dual tx program I was just recently diagnosed with GAD and alcohol abuse I recently disclosed multiple traumatic events that began in my early childhood, around the age of 13, which was also the time that I had began to drink. My therapist then proposed the possibility of PTSD. I suppose that could be relevant to my drinking issue, and for the nightmares I had been experienced the past five to ten years, however, I continue to have severe anxiety unrelated to any of the events and nightmares were concerning my fear of something bad happening to my family. It seems like as I go to sleep my thoughts will not go away. I have tried breathing exercises and CBT and two dual treatment programs and cannot let myself stop trying to figure out what is wrong with me. I was diagnosed at age 16 (again) as being ADHD and started taking concerta. I recently stopped taking ADHD meds to begin taking anxiety meds and wellbutrin that my doctor believed would help with the adhd and sleeping and anxiety. I do not know if this is going to help, as it has been a month and still cannot sleep, or concentrate or finish anything. I am less irritable but feel an overwhelming need to figure out what is wrong with me. I have also not drank for a 3 months butI don't feel like I am able to cope with things at all now. I feel anxious, easily angered and irritable, and cannot sleep.I still cannot concentrate and have no energy throughout the day. Im constantly tired I cant even get much done. I have panic attacks multiple times a week, sometimes more often when my anxiety is high. I constantly have a fear of something bad happening even though I know that is irrational. I worry about everything and everyone and what if .. is a statement that overwhelms my days. I can't concentrate without medication for ADHD but feel better without it. I dont have any idea what could be wrong with me but any advice would be great.

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