I have always been a worrier with a small touch of OCD. I have been diagnosed as having depression (not sure if I really agree with that), and was put on anti-depression meds. They didn't help the depression and make the anxiety a lot worse, so I don't take them.
I am very into alternative healing, and always try it first if I am able. I am a massage therapist and have worked at a massage therapy school, so I am well up-to-date on many many alterative treatments. I have tried everything from old wive's rememdies to homeopathic treatments, meditation, vitimin therapy, aromatherapy... you get the picture. The only alternative treatment I have not tried is acupuncture because there is no way I can afford it.
My physchatrist has tried me on Klonapin, Xanax, Neurontin (that was to help my migraines as well, which don't respond to any treatment other that narcotic pain meds), muscle relaxers, etc. None of these things have helped my anxiety... all they do is put me to sleep - and that's on the smallest dosage available.
My anxiety has worsened severely because I have no money and cannot work. For some ungodly reason, having a job increses my anxiety so badly that I will end up crying the whole time I'm at a job, and just the thought of having to get a job makes me vomit from nerves. I also have a few problems (migraines that put me in bed several days of the week, knee pain, and others) that make finding (or holding down) a job impossible to me.
These medical and psycological problems make working impossible, but if I can't come up with the money for rent, I will be evicted this month. My parents have been generous in helping me out with my bills, but they can't afford to any longer. So... I feel I have conditions that won't let me work, but they are not "bad enough" or whatever to get any governmental or even charity assistance. Most doctors just dismiss everythins as "being in my head" (read:doesn't exsist), so they don't try very hard to help.
I'm at the end of my rope. I feel constantly suicidal because I can't immagine having to live on the streets and lose my pets, apartment, and everything I own.
This constant anxiety is in total control of my life, no matter how hard I try to deal with it. I feel like I have tried everything and I'm at the end of my rope.
My psychiatrist told me the best thing I can do is move to another state where they have a research hospital that might be able to help with my problems. This is impossible for many reason, especially the cost of moving.
Does anyone have any suggestions? I am beyond desperate at this point and I am running out of time.