:(hi im a 19 year old college student and ive been having these problems for years:
I can't seem to follow conversations anymore, and i can't mentally hush myself. I have constant colors in my vision, an "aura", like the northern lights, but more staticy, it's in the foreground in my vision, meaning i see the colors then the objects, this is because when i close my eyes it's most apparent, and when im in darkness.
I have this feeling as if im constantly day dreaming, or almost sleep walking. I can't seem to make objects i see and touch appear real. It's as if im awake, but my brain is asleep. I had an EEG and MRI done years ago and they thought i was having petit mal seizures, but then did it again and im not. I can do most tasks because ive done them so many times its muscle memory, but i can't learn new things anymore, literally all i can do is push carts at my local target and refuse any promotions. I don't enjoy reading anymore because i don't feel myself getting anything from it. Certain color patterns throw me off and make me feel even more "day dreamy", like the red and white patterns at Target, or checkered colors. Lights have halos around them and it's hard to drive at night because of brake lights in fron of me.
I'm anxious about going crazy and constantly have anxiety attacks, especially around people, who seem so animated and full of life, but mostly unpredictable. like i said, i can't take new sitations, so i stick around predictable ones, even though im always on edge because something might happen that i have to use my head for or something. I get very emotional over big things, but im like almost unresponsive to the point of having aspergers when it comes to people and little events like almost getting hit by a car.
I have terrible short term memory, and most things or events i can only remember from little "landmarks" in my memory. I can't multi task at all. I constantly feel asleep at the wheel. And yes, i get proper sleep.
Antianxiety drugs and adhd medications don't help me, but they did about6 or 7 years ago.
If it helps i was diagnosed with bipolar disorder and obsessive compulsive disorder. I've been to many doctors. I went to the ER yesturday because of how intensely detatched i feel. I am currently on the anti depressant Luvox and clonopin, both of which do NOTHING!! i am in so much confusion im very scared. I am seeing my neurologist monday but it seems far away. im hoping someone can help me i fear im losing my mind. (schizophrenia has,unfortunately, been ruled out).:(
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