i have posted this in several places now. i would appreciate more opinions.:) this is gonna be long...sorry.
i have an extreme fear of vomiting to a point where i will stop eating if it's triggered. well, that happened over two weeks ago. all i've been eating are grits, white rice (with a buttery gravy), small bites of soup and perhaps a piece of toast. i was drinking coffee and tea (one cup each), then i just went to coffee (a cup every morn) and stopped that on friday. i haven't really been drinking anything since then.
here's the problem: every time i eat i feel nauseous. even sipping water makes me feel sick. i also experience reflux -- something backs up into my throat and i have a sensation that there is something stuck in my chest. sometimes my tummy aches, too. i'm starting to feel really weak and dizzy, too. tonight, i ate a little soup and felt nauseous. for the next two hours i felt bloated, and weak and light-headed (still do).
all of this is making it hard for me to eat and drink as i am afraid i will get sick (especially gagging/vomiting--i've had countless panic attacks these last two weeks because i thought i was going to get sick).
i want to go to the hospital or something. my mother said she'd take me to the doctor tomorrow. problem is i don't have insurance.
can someone please help and explain why i feel so sick? i'm terrified of gagging/vomiting...don't want to do it. ugh. i just want to eat again. i'm becoming so depressed. i'm starting to feel really suicidal (i feel like i'd have some relief if i would just die). bleh.
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