Discussions By Condition: Fertility conditions

He won't go for test

Posted In: Fertility conditions 5 Replies
  • Posted By: Lozilla
  • August 15, 2007
  • 10:53 AM

Hi I'm 28 and have been trying for about 4 years. I came off the pill when I was 24. Nothing happened.
So I cut out coffee, took pregnancy vitamins, took my basal temp every day, quit smoking weed (he still smokes weed and won't give up), ate as well as I could and wasn't working in a stressful or anything, neither was he. Still nothing.
By this time we watched couples that we knew get together, then have kids. I have tried to quit smoking on and off, but it's hard, I'm going for it again though. I went to the docs for an ovulation day 21 blood test a year ago to find out if I'm ovulating ok, I am.

But last year I split with my partner as I wanted kids and marriage and all that when he was saying he didn't want them! Anyway he pleaded with me to get back with him, he bought me a ring, we're engaged now, and he promised he would get his sperm tested in return for more sex! It's now been a year, and we've rowed and sulked. Yes I did give him more sex but he didn't hold to his promise. I gave up and have gone back on the pill two weeks ago (which is nice for my painful periods). Although some friends told me they got pregnant right after stopping the pill, when they had difficulty before.

I can't make him go for the test as it's one of the worst things to find out as a man that your firing blanks isn't it? I have been sensitive to him about it. If he gets the test we can move on then with help. The docs say they won't do anything else on me.

We both want kids but admittedly more me than him. I don't know what to do now. Just sad really...

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  • Hi I'm 28 and have been trying for about 4 years. I came off the pill when I was 24. Nothing happened. So I cut out coffee, took pregnancy vitamins, took my basal temp every day, quit smoking weed (he still smokes weed and won't give up), ate as well as I could and wasn't working in a stressful or anything, neither was he. Still nothing. By this time we watched couples that we knew get together, then have kids. I have tried to quit smoking on and off, but it's hard, I'm going for it again though. I went to the docs for an ovulation day 21 blood test a year ago to find out if I'm ovulating ok, I am. But last year I split with my partner as I wanted kids and marriage and all that when he was saying he didn't want them! Anyway he pleaded with me to get back with him, he bought me a ring, we're engaged now, and he promised he would get his sperm tested in return for more sex! It's now been a year, and we've rowed and sulked. Yes I did give him more sex but he didn't hold to his promise. I gave up and have gone back on the pill two weeks ago (which is nice for my painful periods). Although some friends told me they got pregnant right after stopping the pill, when they had difficulty before. I can't make him go for the test as it's one of the worst things to find out as a man that your firing blanks isn't it? I have been sensitive to him about it. If he gets the test we can move on then with help. The docs say they won't do anything else on me. We both want kids but admittedly more me than him. I don't know what to do now. Just sad really...Fertility problems are just a sign that you two have other conditions going on. I will recommend both of you to try NAET and Oriental Medicine.If you can't quit smoking it has nothing to do with lack of will- it is about real disease that makes you be dependant on smoking to pacify you or help you concentrate when in fact, your system should be able to relax and concentrate w/o the help of nicotine, etc.Maybe he does not want to have those tests done because they are too invasive or he feels like they are not going to help.Meditate on any unrelated, undiagnosed, misdiagnosed medical situation that you two have had- even if it is emotional. You two are better off getting really healthy- making sure you don't have Lyme, EBV, Mycoplasma, Obesity, etc- before you guys try to have a baby.naet.comps: Do you know people can be allergic to hormones?
    Eatafruit78 960 Replies
    • August 16, 2007
    • 07:30 PM
    • 0
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  • Hi I'm 28 and have been trying for about 4 years. I came off the pill when I was 24. Nothing happened. So I cut out coffee, took pregnancy vitamins, took my basal temp every day, quit smoking weed (he still smokes weed and won't give up), ate as well as I could and wasn't working in a stressful or anything, neither was he. Still nothing. By this time we watched couples that we knew get together, then have kids. I have tried to quit smoking on and off, but it's hard, I'm going for it again though. I went to the docs for an ovulation day 21 blood test a year ago to find out if I'm ovulating ok, I am. But last year I split with my partner as I wanted kids and marriage and all that when he was saying he didn't want them! Anyway he pleaded with me to get back with him, he bought me a ring, we're engaged now, and he promised he would get his sperm tested in return for more sex! It's now been a year, and we've rowed and sulked. Yes I did give him more sex but he didn't hold to his promise. I gave up and have gone back on the pill two weeks ago (which is nice for my painful periods). Although some friends told me they got pregnant right after stopping the pill, when they had difficulty before. I can't make him go for the test as it's one of the worst things to find out as a man that your firing blanks isn't it? I have been sensitive to him about it. If he gets the test we can move on then with help. The docs say they won't do anything else on me. We both want kids but admittedly more me than him. I don't know what to do now. Just sad really... Wow, that is sad...but for more reasons than you realize, I think. Why would you want to start a family with a man who is unsupportive and abuses drugs? I think there are some MAJOR codependent issues you should look into for yourself... 28 is still young. I met my husband at 34 and had my FIRST child at 36. My point is that you never know what the future holds, and the most important thing is to reflect on your current relationship. Is your fiancee still using pot? Pot kills sperm, period. It also is a MAJOR cause of impotence and erectile dysfunction. And it also gets people emotionally "stuck". If he has no interest in quitting then you have an addictive fiancee and you are in a codependent relationship. I am sorry if I sound harsh, but I have been there and I am sOOO glad I didn't have children with my first husband when I was about your age. Quitting smoking is certainly extremely important, but it is more important to address the problems in your current relationship and move on if your fiancee is not willing to change. Best wishesDOM
    acuann 3080 Replies
    • August 16, 2007
    • 10:04 PM
    • 0
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  • Hello Acuann-Thanks for this and your other recent replies :).See ya around!Frui.
    Eatafruit78 960 Replies
    • August 17, 2007
    • 09:24 PM
    • 0
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  • Anyway he pleaded with me to get back with him, he bought me a ring, we're engaged now, and he promised he would get his sperm tested in return for more sex! It's now been a year, and we've rowed and sulked. Yes I did give him more sex but he didn't hold to his promise.Sounds to me like an easy solution. You say that he wants more sex, so, if you really want him tested and he's refusing, stop giving him what he wants. If you stop having sex with him, he will probably be reluctant to have his littles guys checked out just so he can start having sex again.I'm not trying to start any major problems, but if this is really what you want, then you deserve to have it. This might be a little painful for you as well, but hold strong, and I guaranty he will give in.Cheryl
    cherylglistner 1 Replies
    • October 2, 2007
    • 07:50 PM
    • 0
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  • Hi - this is a response from a guy, me. If he won't get the test, tell him to get lost and stop having him waste your time. If he really wants kids he will stop and DO something. You are a team and he is not playing fair. Would you like to have kids with him if he is not really committed to having, caring for and loving them ? I know I am being blunt but he already lied about getting back with you and then getting tested. If he lied about something that important, what else might he lie about ?
    Anonymous 42789 Replies
    • October 5, 2007
    • 03:40 AM
    • 0
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