I am a 39 year old female, the mother of one wonderful son. Thank god for him and the miracle of his birth, but so sad that none of the others survived. That's four fetuses with only one making it safely into my life.
This could be a long story, but i'll try to make it short. I don't want to lose your attention.... and this could someday make your life, or the life of someone else better.
From a young age, menstruation was a tortured event. Rolling around on the floor for hours, no sleep, complete and unbelievable agony. My periods were always heavy and never held a schedule. I was 14 the first time a doctor did a laprascopy and that began a regular series of hospital stays, laprascopies and gynecologists.
No matter what tests the Doctors did they couldn't find a definitive answer. At first it was "just bad periods", then it became "Pelvic Inflammatory Disease (PID)", then they just stopped trying to give me answers and tried to minimize the pain with pills.
At the young age of 16 I became pregnant and gave birth to my one and only child, a son. A year later I became pregnant again, but aborted the pregnancy. Call it pay back, or call it a mystery but I was unable to ever maintain a pregnancy again.
When I was 25 and in a stable, long term, seemingly healthy relationship I tried to get pregant again and found that i couldn't. I was referred to a Gynecologist who was apparently a specialist in fertility issues and after some testing I was told that both of my tubes were blocked. He said he was unable to do the surgery so with these results in hand I found a Doctor who would do whatever was required to correct the issue, and thankfully I found one.
The Doctor I found booked the surgery and when it was done he said all seemed well and there shouldn't be anymore complications. Well hind site certainly showed us that wasn't true! After over five years of effort I was still unable to conceive and no one could figure out why, so in frustration I gave up ad moved ahead with life.
When I was 30, 6 years after the tubal surgery I became ill, dizzy and constantly nauseous so i went to my family physician with nothing particular in mind and found out I was indeed pregnant.
With excitement and shock I walked out the door of my doctors office only to walk back in with concern two weeks later. I had started having severe pain and occasional spotting. The doctor order daily blood work to monitor my bata count which should have been doubling daily if all was well. After two weeks of needles and continued pain I was told the bata count had stopped increasing and he was referring me to the local hospital for an emergency ultrasound and Gynecologist consult.
After three hours of laying there worried I was told the devastating and surprising news. The pregancy was ectopic, the fetus was stuck in my left tube and the growth had slowed but was continuing. I was told I would have to have the fetus removed as soon as possible and was booked for chemotherapy the following. The specialist said he hoped chemo would break down the fetus without causing me to lose my tube all together, and at the same time save my life. With that I went home and cried.
The following morning I was at the hospital as arranged and the chemo was easily completed then I was sent home and told to call if the pain continued to worsen. Worsen it did! I was screaming by the time I was rushed into the operating room. It seemed that chemo hadn't worked and that the fetus was large enough to break the tube. If the tube had broken I could quickly die from the blood loss.
That day, the fetus, my baby, was removed along with my left tube. It was over, it was done and there was nothing I could do but move on from there with the hope that someday the right tube would bring me what i longed for.
Two years later, when I was 32 I found out once again, by random blood work that I was once again pregnant. But this time, due to my history, the doctor monitored my bata count right from the beginning.
I was 10 weeks into the pregnancy when one night as i lay in bed half asleep when a sharp pain shot through my abdomen and I screamed. In that moment I knew what was wrong and feared for the worst. The next day I went to the hospital and after some testing I was told that yes, the pregnancy was once again ectopic. This time the fetus was in my right tube and quite large. They stated there was no time to waste and booked me in for immediate surgery. This time around there were no tears. This time i was filled with a cold acceptance of my, and my baby's fate.
The Gynecologist came to see me and told me he could save a portion of the tube with the hope that in future I could have a normal pregnancy. After the last two pregnancies ending up the same way, I was wary and asked what the chances would be of going through this again. He said "the chances would greatly increase, not lessen." So I said no, this was it. take it all. I couldn't take anymore. So that day ended my journey into pregnancy and I coldly accepted that fact.
In 2007, at the age of 37, I was told I needed to have a hysterectomy to prevent the ongoing menstrual pain I'd suffered for most of my life. The sugery was booked and once I regained my senses te Doctor informed me that he had removed my uterus and repaired as much damage as he could that had been caused by the endometrial tissue. Shock!!! I had never once been told I had Endometriosis let alone endometiral tissues! This was apparently the root of all my problems!
I was shocked, I was angry, and I was fed up. Since then I haven't trusted doctors and I am trying to take responsibility for the outcomes of any new health issues . Today and for the rest of my life I will research, I will push and I will ask questions hoping I never again experience that kind of hurt or disappointment.
With this story in mind I hope you never have to either.
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