ya, i have no money im 25 never had a girlfriend, been in love or who knows anymore. a virgin , am ugly, work all day almost every day and bust my **s to where i feel like an old man. make minimum with no benefits, come from a broken and extremely disfunctional family with parents who both have different problems mentally and have mentally and on occasion physically abused each other and myself. i live at an apartment where i am positivly unwanted and treated like a piece of ****. and i pay almost 1 whole paycheck for rent. i pay the most money. but i have no choice to go anywhere else because i just have to hard of time saving. my jobs always in jeapordy no matter how far i go im still threatened i can be fired if my boss feels like it. and my cars falling apart. how will i afford a new? i don't know. im realizing my friends arent really my friends and im losing them. i go weeks with out any texts or calls from anyone. ive lived like this for years and i cant anymore. i dont want to die but i cant physically or mentally handle my life anymore its just become too much to deal with. i have no other family outside my parents and brother who by the way thinks hes better than me and his gf does 2. even though ive always been there and let him use my car for a year and inconvienience me wile i payed the insurance. i always got him gifts on his birthdays and christmas too n ive put up with all his bs. i cant handle that anymore either. im at my parents now and ive been here a day and a night. ive worked all week and i just overheard dad telling mom i havent helped out around here at all and if i dont hes throwin me out soon. ive tried so hard to be a good caring person but noone gives me the time of day. im so sad and so tired i cant explain anymore my heads so mixed up now i just want to be happy. Ive always said everyone has the right to be. but many if not most of us arent. our lives are slaves to our economic system that now has become our culture. were trapped and theres no more such thing as every mans right or natural living theres no more tradition. without money im just stuck here. sadly thats the most important thing i can think of now even though im just lost for words about the other things i have mentioned. just money moves things and with it ppl can buy new lives. that what some of us need. a pick me up to get us on our feet. i do...
In conclusion, do i need depression meds? will these help ? i dont see them working considering i dont think my brain can be fooled to be happy . i just feel like its just trickery of the brain that basically your willfully making yourself mentally unstable to block the reality of your life... i just dont know ive tried many kinds before and i just feel nuts from whatever ive tried. i even tried add medicine cause my records said i had a touch when i was young but found myself abusing adderall just to have energy for work and to help block out things it worked for a while then i noticed problems and stopped...
Sorry for the messy post, incorrect spelling and grammar. I just had a flood of thoughts and needed to type fast. I hope you understand.
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