Discussions By Condition: Brain conditions


Posted In: Brain conditions 2 Replies
  • Posted By: Anonymous
  • February 2, 2011
  • 07:06 AM

Okay, so I'm not sure how long this has been going on, but for several years, since it only happens at most, 3 times a year. Also, I'm almost 16.

Here's what happens every time. I wake up in the middle of the night, usually with a bloody nose, so I have to run to the bathroom. Every time, everyone is asleep. The darkness and alone feeling adds to it, so I want to go to the bathroom and turn on the lights even when I don't have a bloody nose. In the bathroom, my heart is racing and my breathing becomes unsteady. I feel nauseous and like I'm going to pass out. Sometimes I start crying. I have these memory/vision things that are nearly impossible to explain. Something about, "I'm failing. I'm losing. I'm dying" like life is a game or something. And I just remember a lot of circles, like that's the game board of life. (A circle because the you just keep going round and round, it's infinite.) And every time, it's this same "game," "life/death," "failure," "circles" thing. The logical part of my brain is thinking the whole time "It's happening again. Is this real? What is this? Is it fake? What is wrong with me? MAKE IT STOP!" I can't remember much afterward, other than that and the fact that I hate the feeling while it's happening. It feels like a dream, but also like I'm remembering something, like de ja vu. I can't tell what's real and what's not. It doesn't end until I go back to sleep.

So basically, it's really scary. I have never done drugs or anything like that. I haven't talked to any doctors about it. I dunno, maybe I should...? I'd just kinda like to know what's happening. I don't really want to take pills or anything, I just want to know...

I've had times when I thought someone was talking about something similar to my experience, and then I freak out and I'm like "OH MY GOSH, YOU KNOW HOW I FEEL!" and then I'm so excited to have someone who understands, that I explain it all, and when I'm done, I look back over, and their eyes are wide and they have a worried expression on their face. I then realize that that isn't what they meant. They ask me hesitantly if I'm feeling okay and tell me to go see a doctor. But they don't understand, so should I? Is it serious? I mean what good would it do if I don't want any medicine, anyways. And what if they just think I'm crazy, too? Ahh I dunno. Someone please just explain...

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2 Replies:

  • Panic attack or reoccurring nightmare?
    Anonymous 42789 Replies Flag this Response
  • TO me it sounds like a simple partial seizure’s aura. For me, when I have them, I tend to hear some sort of familiar sound, a song I recognize from when I was a little kid, yet a minute later I couldn’t hum the song for the life of me. Yet it is the same one (or I am convinced that it is). I also have the same dream/thoughts come into my head….something I remember and that takes me back instantly to being a young child at night. Maybe that is when it all started…who knows? Then, I feel everything slow down, as though the information isn’t getting to me fast enough for me to process it. If my wife talks to me, nothing she says makes sense, but I nod or say “uh huh” as though I am understanding her. Everything during it seems very peaceful, serene, yet also surreal, as though it is something awesome and majestic, yet I cannot place why it is so, and why I should have those feelings at that moment. I also have started to break out in a pouring sweat, to the point where beads of water are all over my shaved head. IT’s really uncomfortable (after its all over and I think “why am I all wet?). When I am at work, and I feel all this coming on, I always get up and go to the bathroom and sit on the stool, because I feel as though I am going to throw up. I think that I have taught myself to protect myself by doing this. Many who have auras associated with these types of “episodes” will make good use of their auras, and either sit down, pull over, or get to a safe place before they go into the trance-like state. I tend to bob my head up and down a little bit when its happening, when I am on the stool in the bathroom. I don’t know if that’s a coping mechanism, or, if its something that just happens because of it all. The last things that comes, is I feel a strong sense of déjà vu, as if whatever is happening around me, I’ve seen it before, and I feel as though I can tell you what is going to happen right before it happens. For instance, if my wife is there and trying to communicate, or walk toward me, I feel as though I could tell you what she is going to say/do around 4-5 seconds before it actually happens. And it is right every time. Some call this precognition. I call this a really slow mind. J Then, everything becomes very UNFAMILIAR. Nothing around me looks the same as it did, and I feel as though even my wife, daughter and house is something that I should know, but cannot get a grasp as to what relationship I have with them. This was pretty awful, being on the other side of town. I was doing some work at local banks, and suddenly realized that I didn’t know where I was, who I was, or what I was doing out that way. Everything looked familiar, yet, I had no idea why. It was though I was placed in a photograph I had seen on my wall for years, yet, had no idea where that place was, and how to maneuver from where I had been put. I opened up my wallet, saw my name and thought “oh, good. I have a great name”. I then saw where I lived and saw my business cards, along with all my paperwork. I figured out where I worked, finally, and figured I may as well get back to work, wherever that was. It took me 20 minutes or so to find my work which was no more than 5 minutes away. That’s because it really took me 20 minutes after I started driving around to come around to knowing who I was and what I was doing. I remember all of this happening very well. Yet, in the moment, I lost all familiarity memory….all that was familiar was gone. Yet, trained skill sets was still there. For instance, I had no problem with driving. I had no problem with walking, reading the paperwork on my car seat next to me. I did not talk during the time, however. In addition, I turned on the radio, and thinking back on it, I remember a very popular Beyonce or Britney song being on the radio, that I normally would sing along with or know all the words to. I knew that while listening. However, it all sounded new and unfamiliar to me. It’s a very strange, neat, new, and scary feeling,
    Anonymous 25 Replies Flag this Response
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