Hi, I'm sorry if this doesn't make any sense - it's likely to be a very confused explanation. here goes. Four years ago i was diagnosed with PTSD and OCD, this last year the sort of depression I suffer from this has changed from the usual blues because of the OCD to complete misery, torture about nothing just life. My OCD isn't nearly as bad thanks to meds but now I find myself suffering agonising months of pain. i just want to sleep all the time. This is I've always been know to be a bit of a risk taker and I occasionally get ideas that i obsess about for about a week. the ideas are usually more important than eating or sleeping to me and it's all I can think about. Eveyone else around me is just to slow on the uptake it seems. Untill now I'd put this down to my "obsessive" behavior. But now maybe it's not. I don't know this is where i need your opinion, I'll give you an example. The latest one was about 8 months ago where I suddenly decided I was going to create this massive music concert with all the latest bands. It was going to be in aid of cancer as my mum used to be a sufferer. I figured I'd raise so much money there would very soon be a cure to the ilness as a result of my event. I thought that it's be easy to organise, well for me. I was in a eutopia where I thought that things would go smoothly, I'd get loads of sponsors and of course somehow manage school and exams at thesame time. I was totally obsessed with it and it really infuriated me that noone was nearly as excited as I was. I didn't really care though. About ten days later I just rocketed dowhill thinking I was worthless and thinking I was stupid for contemplating such a ridiculus idea. i felt like I'd brought shame to myself saying I could do something like that concert. I'd had visions of people thanking me after because I'd been the driving force that would give the final push ofr donations that would see the ilness cured. Now I seem ok again, not quite as depressed but still pretty down. Thing is I'm scared to talk to my Dr. because he may just think I'm making it up to avoid talking about my problems. I don't want to go through that sort of shame. Please help - any views at all would be great.:confused:Reply Follow This Thread Stop Following This Thread Flag this Discussion
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