Thanks for your words... they seemed to alleviate some of my own anxiety. Sometimes I get all worked up over the smallest things. Academically I know that these 'symptoms' are 'normal'. In other words, that they are a common phenomena amongst a good portion of the population. However I still can't seem to completely let go of this anxiety and I believe I now know why. Not that changing it will be easy, though it IS within our control. I truly believe that these are signs, which our body is telling us that something we are doing is not beneficial, or perhaps harmful, even. We who get these 'things' appear to be more tuned in to our body than others (which is not necessarily a good thing). The key, I believe, lies in our understanding of what the underlying behavior, habit, or thought is that triggers these feelings of anxiety. Remember folks, and I'm NOT trying to scare you but, stress can kill.
Let me offer my experience which will hopefully shed some light on this dark topic which others in our lives are getting sick of hearing about...
When I was younger, I got Lyme's Disease, it was pretty bad, vomiting, diarrhea, nasty head and body aches, etc... I have been 'diagnosed' with Epstein Barr Virus, Mono (twice), acid reflux, and a strong allergy to dust, not to mention that I am a smoker for 10 years or more including the good stuff from time to time, AND I have been sick with this or that (Strep, Tonsillitis, Respiratory Infections Etc. Etc.) more times than I care to remember. On top of all of that, I have ADHD and moderate to severe tendencies to be impulsive, sometimes to dangerous levels (a behavior commonly associated with ADHD). For example, sex without a condom (just dumb, there's no other explanation really, I know that!). Other actual physical condition I have includes chronic pain associated with extremely flat feet, a bad neck (cervical vertebrae not curved back in the right way), and a wrist which I broke and never allowed to heal properly (mainly cuz I took of the cast early)... DDDDUMB!
OK, now... After knowing all that about me, why do I wonder where these feelings of anxiety come from. They are real. They are awful. But many of them are easy to resolve with just some minor, some major changes to my habits. For example, I don't eat right (meaning 4 well balanced meals a day at regular intervals, staying away from foods which promote overproducing acid), I don't sleep right (never asleep before 1:30, usually after 3am!, getting on average 5-6.5 hours a night), and I don't exercise regularly. These three things alone would alleviate most, if not all of the symptoms outright. I know that! Why is it so ***n hard to do it though? I know the consequences of my actions, yet I can't seem to control my behavior. Why can't I think, before hand, about the consequences, both physical and emotional of having sex unprotected? O no! Do I have an STD? I hope it's not HIV, o good it's not... but what if it's... STOP. Change the behavior that is the source of this anxiety and it, along with your 'symptoms' will (should) disappear. Do you feel the same? Do you start, enact these changes for a few days, a few weeks, even a few months and then quit? Cuz I surely do! So darn frustrating! In fact, I've 'tried' to quit smoking more times than I have hair on my head. ;- p
Furthermore, we humans have to start understanding our own bodies better. We have to start understanding and being accountable for the actions AND thoughts we allow our minds to parse. Newton’s 3rd Law of Motion can best explain this idea. 'For every action there is an equal and opposite reaction.' By understanding this principal and accepted physical LAW, you now have the keys to changing the behavior, attitude and/or habits that are causing you stress.
REMEMBER: THESE SOURCES OF STRESS ARE IN YOUR CONTROL.
Building better habits is an ongoing process that never ends. Quitting smoking doesn't happen because you made the decision to, it happens because you continually make the decision to value your life and body over the addiction to oral stimulation, or your fascination with smoke or looking cool; not once, but every time a cigarette enters your space/mind.
Honestly, I believe that examining your subconscious mind through peaceful meditation and quiet contemplation, always looking inward by observing your breath, not controlling but observing it in silence on a daily basis is a wonderful and widely accepted way to find out what the sources of stress in your life are. Doing so will allow you the chance to forge new patterns and behaviors by structuring your life and building better habits which work for you. This will not only alleviate the pressure which IS building up in your mind, but will also allow you to connect better with others AND become more effective and productive over the long-term. This I promise you. And by you, I mean me. HEHE!
See, we are all connected; emotionally, physically (on several scales (on a cellular level as well as by simply being in the same space at the same time)) and spiritually (as in all of us being a part of 'GOD', whatever your interpretation of that may be) so, what you then must realize is, everyone affects everyone else. Of course, there are ways to mitigate these affects in order to bias them in your favor, such as, cutting-loose those people in your life that cause you undue and unnecessary physical, mental, psychological or emotional stress and suffering. Not just people, but things and behaviors, habits and rituals, both the ones you are currently conscious about and those, which you will discover during your quest for enlightenment.
After having said all this, please don't think I have all the answers, I don't and I know I don't, but that doesn't mean these thoughts coursing through my brain, nerves, fingers, this keyboard, the fiber-optics connecting us aren't truth. Information exists without our existence, this is why I believe the universe is infinite, and is the most beautiful thing about life. Humans being the 'highest' form of life locally (relatively) which we know of, so far, have a broadband antennae in between our ears called a brain. We're connected to the universe through our senses. And our bodies that we have been blessed with allow us to feel/smell/hear/see/touch and think about the universe and ourselves. This is a most precious gift, and for me, all the evidence I need to believe in God, which I understand as the great 'Connectome' (matter/energy and the connection betwixt the two). We literally ARE one.
Understanding this sort of makes jealousy, hate, violence and all other selfish pursuits utterly insignificant and even more so, futile. You see, we are HERE, right now, to connect. That is life's purpose on earth; to connect with our selves, our peers, our families, the earth and everything in between in order to understand and experience empathy and oneness (singularity). I mean, if this weren't true then why are the cells in my body connected and staying that way? Why is technology evolving in such a way as to promote and encourage social connection? (eg. Facebook.) And what, o please someone tell me what gravity is???
Light, matter, energy, the four forces of nature, to me, represents what I have come to understand as God. I've yet to come across any better explanation. Sir Isaac Newton himself wrote, "… every massive particle in the universe attracts every other massive particle with a force which is directly proportional to the product of their masses and inversely proportional to the square of the distance between them." Meaning everything affects everything else. Meaning that what you do, say and think OBVIOUSLY affects how you feel. Those symptoms we are feeling are real and fortunately have been built into an intelligent system design as a warning to us that we are doing something wrong. The difficulty is in recognizing what those behaviors, thoughts and habits are that cause such overwhelming feelings of dread and confusion. It is especially difficult in these exponential times of growth and change, when our bodies are struggling to keep up with the rate at which society transforms and the universe expands. We too, our minds and bodies, our cells must divide and adapt into something more suited to the rigors of life in a massive 'Big Bang'. Evolution has never stopped, not really sure why we were ever under the assumption that it had. In fact, there is A LOT of evidence to suggest that it is speeding up geometrically.
Trust yourself and love others. You and I are the same.
Technology shakes up our idea of time, as there is no such thing as time in a closed loop circuit.
The theory of life will evolve to accept technology and other things we use to survive as integral pieces of life, inseparable and therefore one and the same.
Life is order from chaos and is meant to be cherished and cultivated.
Heaven and health do exist; they are a state of mind.
The human mind will integrate itself and technology will allow this if we let it. This is precisely the reason the Internet exists, it is a step toward a true connection. Social media is evidence of this.
Governments will become outdated in time as we all become telepathic.
Children are, quite obviously, the future. (MJ got this one right!)
Connections are what we live and die for.
Death truly is a new beginning and is an integral part of life. They are one in the same. It is an essential characteristic of life... or is it???
What if a universe is, whatever that is understandable by life within it, and once life understands what's beyond it, a paradigm shift occurs and another 'Big Bang' occurs. Only, it's not a big bang, nothing never actually changed. Just our perception does. What if singularity brings about the destruction of a universe and the beginning of a new one?
What if? Why? How?? ??? ????? ???????? ????????????? ...
Most Genuinely Yours on Christmas Day,