Discussions By Condition: Anxiety

Overreaction to embarassment

Posted In: Anxiety 1 Replies
  • Posted By: konalion
  • March 17, 2007
  • 09:39 PM

My daughter has always been excessively sensitive. When she was about 5 or 6 we had a birthday party and when everyone started to sing she broke down crying. Any time she perceives personal critism she has a similar reaction, even now that she's 16. Today was the moment when I became exceptionally concerned.

She was ready to go to her boyfriend's house to celebrate his birthday with his family. I'm sure she was nervous about meeting them all but she got ready to go. On thier way to the car they both fell in the snow, but instead of just brushing herself off and moving on, she stormed in the house crying. We eventually had to send the poor boy off without her.

I'm worried. This isn't something she ever grew out of but as she becomes an adult the repercussions of breakdown are going to be worse. She has never had a breakdown at school, at least that I'm aware of, but I'm still concerned.

Am I overreacting myself?

Thanks

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  • No, you need to help her. I'm in a hurry so bear with me. Two things here: (1) You know how, in the movies, we sometimes have to hold our breath not to cry? While others sit there munching popcorn, with no reaction. Surely that is worse? Now, same thing with those kids singing at the party. It meant too much for her. (2) You know how, when the police happen to drive behind us, we suddenly forget how to drive? When we are too keen to please, it interferes with our balance. She then assumed falling in the snow merely to be the first error of a whole doomed outing. Our experience of failure is worse in proportion to our wish to succeed. Beware, one day she might marry a ***k, for not valuing herself enough - while she's one of the best people in this world. Or she might become status conscious, only considering concrete reality, which will harm her as it is too ordinary. Best would be if she could keep her sensitivity and master it, learn to use it.I'm male, but had this same mixed blessing for a long time. Our psychic aunt helped me, first explaining what she was going to do. She was going to introduce me to esoteric and cultural secrets that none of my peers knew, and right under the noses of my 'Christian' family. Then I could be their humble guide, instead of trying to live up to them. Just as in England, where the butler knows best and may subtly correct the master. So she had me read many books. I learned astrology, numerology, cheirology etc. This gave me something to DO at a party, so I could have a way to participate. Awkward or not, I could be confident and take credit for what I had to offer. If Hitler was given such a chance, I think he would have helped people instead. We can be savvy suppliers instead of consumers .. A Rabbi was asked, "Why did God make the pagans?" He answered, "Well - somebody must buy retail."The shaman uses a mask to transcend herself, to project herself into some ideal form of personality. On the one hand, she needs protection against the dangerous potency of the spirit world; on the other, she can participate in that potency. The mask enables us to relate ourselves to the awesome otherness of the sacred (in your daughter's case represented by other people). That is why we prefer to wear certain clothes, according to our fears and wishes, and why we wear our personality. We ARE not our personality, we have created it, and we must go on deciding what to become next. What does Oprah Winfrey have, or blues singer BB King? We can have it too. Many well socialized people are terrified of public speaking, as they don't know how. Many from rural areas are terrified of driving in the city. We need to know what we are doing.C.G. Jung has said, "Nothing worse could happen to a person than to be completely understood." If a person's state is summed up accurately by another person, it means an annihilation of the personality who was summed up, just as the universe is destroyed when Shiva opens his eye. But the bloke that does the summing up is not Shiva, so the other person finds that (although she is destroyed) she is still there. And worse, it was done by an idiot with his own obvious faults - one who was accurate in terms of quite an alien frame of reference. It's kind of a victory for evil - also since accuracy is of necessity violent. Your daughter will pick up any subtle indication of this and react. However much people say they want clarity, regarding themselves - what they really want is uncertainty. They don't want their mystique to be easily sorted out, pigeon holed. The escape is: to oneself be the one doing the summing up, BUT seeing God in it. With interest and empathy, not concrete but with magic and worship. This can never be done with mundane psychology, we need metaphysics.Very different people can have this embarassment problem however. They may be centered in the intellect, emotion, or movement. They may be ruled by fire, air, earth, or water. They may be more inclined to science, or to society. But if she's willing to read books, you're in luck. I suggest that many books should be read as fast as possible, without coming to final conclusions, or believing anything - only taking vague note of the whole. People often start a fight with a book on page 2 and get stuck - so I ask that they just keep reading, as they surely can't understand it before reading it - that's why all the rest of the book is there, and there's also more than one book to read - each having an end, soon enough. If they'd just read on with a brisk pace, and never mind understanding too much - it's very easy to cover a lot of ground that way. Metaphysics yes but novels are also great, and of course classic films (DVD). The more the better. One video that gripped me this week was "Transamerica", I think it will help anyone.When taken individually, books can lead to mistakes. Taken together, they balance each other and the picture gets clearer. Try to own as many of these as possible:"A Course in Miracles" channeled by Helen Schucman (Viking, Penguin)."The Soul's Code" by James Hillman (Warner, Random House)."The Waves" by Virginia Woolf (a novel)."The Power of Now" by Eckhart Tolle (Hodder & Stoughton)."Hands of Light" by Barbara Ann Brennan (Bantam Books)."The Joel S. Goldsmith Reader", ISBN 080651051X (Citadel, Carol)."The Secret Language of Birthdays" by Goldschneider & Elffers (Penguin)."The New Astrology" by Suzanne White (Pan, St Martin's).This website is a good start -www.michaelteachings.com - especially:www.michaelteachings.com/lessons_of_roles.html andwww.michaelteachings.com/goal_of_soul.htmlBright Blessings from Africa :D
    Curly Stooge 319 Replies Flag this Response
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