Discussions By Condition: Anxiety

20 years of panic attacks

Posted In: Anxiety 2 Replies
  • Posted By: dani_cali
  • July 7, 2008
  • 07:42 PM

hi. im new here. im a fit 41 year old mum to a little boy, now going through a messy divorce, and i thought i had conquered my panic through exercise, clean living and magnesium tablets.

recently, its come back. ive had several in the past few months, and its gotten me down. its like it never really leaves you.

my symptoms - well the heart palpitations i got used to. i figured that if they hadnt killed me by now, i neednt worry. what freaks me out is the feeling im gonna pass out. this comes on, almost always in public (eg in my exercise class, somewhere im normally comfortable in), suddenly. i feel terribly weak suddenly, my head feels funny, i feel faint, things sometimes even start to black out. it freaks me out. i have passed out a few times in the past, but mainly when ive also had a flu on top of panic. but u worry.

i worry im gonna drop dead in public, just like that. bam. never see my son again, or my boyfriend, or my family, or my home. which of course makes it all worse.

when it gets that bad the only thing that ever, ever has nipped it in the bud (no amount of meditation or self talk ever did anything for me), is popping a xanax, i have kept these little pills for years - only take them when i need to, eg panic attack. 15 minutes later i am better, though not always back to normal, still feel weak and lightheaded but back in control enough to function.

guess im on here for support and to support others. i know alot about this condition i spent years researching it. i also think i have mitral valve prolapse and i think this triggers panic attacks, think its made me physically predisposed to panic. my grandmother had a 'funny' heart - she was convinced she'd die at 39 but lived to 93, and her mother died from a weak heart in her 40's, but then she had 10 kids. so it is genetic.

that helps when you are tempted to blame yourself or any psychological reason, although i do believe the psyche also plays a large part - that said, i dont like people too quick to label you 'mental' or rule something like this as psychological when i am convinced it is in large part physically rooted. because doing so kind of devalues our condition, makes it something we should 'be on top of,' and u wouldnt tell a heart patient to 'be on top of' their heart condition, would u.

anyway, hi to all. i was just playing football with some kids and my kid and felt lightheaded, got frustrated by it, and came on here.

got any questions just ask
best xxx

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2 Replies:

  • hi my name is jennifer and i have felt that way for years. no amount of self help books or talk from loved ones helps. its a personal battle that i face almost daily. i used to pop xanax daily 4 to 5 pills like sugar pills. not bragging heck no, just telling you that it was the only medication that would help me center myself and feel at ease for the moment. im 21, so ive had these anxiety attacks for about 11 years. took xanax for 4. i have a son now. i dont want him to suffer because mommy cant handle things. no matter how many family members or friends are around me i still feel alone. i dont think that there is any cure or help for this.
    distressed27 3 Replies
    • September 8, 2008
    • 09:34 PM
    • 0
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  • I suffered from overwhelming anxiety for almost 20 years. It got so bad that all the panic attacks, social anxiety, and generalized anxiety caused me to lock myself up in my house, afraid to leave and wanting to die to stop the pain of living. Death seemed better than life because life with anxiety was so painful and fearful for me.What was the worst was the doubt that I would ever feel better, wanting to be free and being trapped with no apparent escape. I'll tell you more of my story in a minute... I want you to know that I can relate to how you're feeling because I lived in that dark tunnel of anxiety for many years! What you're feeling is real. Don't let anyone tell you otherwise.The good news is that I'm now anxiety-free and lead an amazing life! I love what I do, I'm surrounded by a loving family and friends, I travel whenever I want, go where I want, and do what I want without fear. It's truly my dream life and I'm so grateful for it. ----------------------------- Anxiety therapy technique without medications
    jennismortal 8 Replies Flag this Response
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