hi. im new here. im a fit 41 year old mum to a little boy, now going through a messy divorce, and i thought i had conquered my panic through exercise, clean living and magnesium tablets.
recently, its come back. ive had several in the past few months, and its gotten me down. its like it never really leaves you.
my symptoms - well the heart palpitations i got used to. i figured that if they hadnt killed me by now, i neednt worry. what freaks me out is the feeling im gonna pass out. this comes on, almost always in public (eg in my exercise class, somewhere im normally comfortable in), suddenly. i feel terribly weak suddenly, my head feels funny, i feel faint, things sometimes even start to black out. it freaks me out. i have passed out a few times in the past, but mainly when ive also had a flu on top of panic. but u worry.
i worry im gonna drop dead in public, just like that. bam. never see my son again, or my boyfriend, or my family, or my home. which of course makes it all worse.
when it gets that bad the only thing that ever, ever has nipped it in the bud (no amount of meditation or self talk ever did anything for me), is popping a xanax, i have kept these little pills for years - only take them when i need to, eg panic attack. 15 minutes later i am better, though not always back to normal, still feel weak and lightheaded but back in control enough to function.
guess im on here for support and to support others. i know alot about this condition i spent years researching it. i also think i have mitral valve prolapse and i think this triggers panic attacks, think its made me physically predisposed to panic. my grandmother had a 'funny' heart - she was convinced she'd die at 39 but lived to 93, and her mother died from a weak heart in her 40's, but then she had 10 kids. so it is genetic.
that helps when you are tempted to blame yourself or any psychological reason, although i do believe the psyche also plays a large part - that said, i dont like people too quick to label you 'mental' or rule something like this as psychological when i am convinced it is in large part physically rooted. because doing so kind of devalues our condition, makes it something we should 'be on top of,' and u wouldnt tell a heart patient to 'be on top of' their heart condition, would u.
anyway, hi to all. i was just playing football with some kids and my kid and felt lightheaded, got frustrated by it, and came on here.
got any questions just ask
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